Tommy's Original Hamburger

2575 Beverly Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90057-1020. Voice:  213-389-9060.

Mercedes, police cars, limos, Chicano low riders, motorcycles, VW buses, and old beat up sedans in the parking lots at Tommy's demonstrate the range of people who appreciate the world's best chili-cheese burger and chili tamale combination.

Tommy's was introduced to me by Mr. Hartley, a co-worker at the Los Angeles USC Medical Center Emergency Chemistry Laboratory, around around 1970.  No one ever called Mr. Hartley by his first name.  He was tall, handsome, and presented himself with an aristocratic demeanor.  I was the token white guy in the Laboratory.  Mr. Hartley adopted me and showed me the ropes.  He taught me a great deal about the workings of an emergency chemistry laboratory and about Tommy's.  I've forgotten almost everything about emergency chemistry, but I can find my way to Tommy's every time, even after a transcontinental flight.

The first time Mr. Hartley drove me to Tommy's he showed me how to go through the line, taught me what to order--chili cheeseburger and chili tamale, how to yell out my order, how to pay, and how get my beverage, a grape soda, from the open coolers.  I told him that I didn't particularly care for grape soda.  He, in is powerfully elegant perfect diction, informed me that unless I wanted to be gastronomically uncomfortable for the rest of the day I should take a grape soda.  As usual, he was right.  I had a grape soda and felt fine all afternoon.  On another occasion, when I was at Tommy's on my own, I attempted to show my independence and drank a root beer instead.  I had chili burrito and onion burps all that afternoon and well into the night.  I apologize, Mr. Hartley.

What Mr. Hartley didn't warn me about was the staying power of Tommy's chili.  My wife Tina and I were at Tommy's with our friends John and Cathy Humble.  John and Cathy later divorced, but I don't think it was over this incident.  If you are wondering if I am talking about the same John Humble who is now an internationally famous photographer the answer is yes.  The four of us drove to Tommy's in John and Cathy's VW bus.  Tommy's was so busy that we had to park in the auxiliary parking lot across the street.  We ordered the usual and took our food back to the VW bus to eat.  That was a mistake.   Either John or Cathy accidentally tipped their chili tamale onto the floor of the VW.  We immediately cleaned up the mess and got another chili tamale.  The story didn't end there.  John and Cathy, being fastidious people, cleaned up the remains of the mess with cleaners and brushes when they got home.  A week later their VW bus smelled like chili tamales.  More cleaners and additional elbow grease were applied to the stain.  Months and years later their VW bus smelled like Tommy's chili tamales.  Every time I rode in the VW bus I began craving a Tommy's chili tamale.  John and Cathy eventually sold their VW bus, probably to someone with a cold or nasal allergies.  My guess is that their VW bus is still being driven around L.A. and probably ends up at Tommy's once in a while.  Writing about the incident now, decades later, the wonderful aroma of the chilie comes to mind.  If I could easily get to Tommy's without taking an airplane trip, I would be there now.

Tommy's doesn't have an indoor space.  It doesn't even have chairs.  When you eat at Tommy's you stand at the counters edging the main building.  The reason so many people stand outside to eat is because they have already replaced at least one car that was infected with chili aroma.  Additionally, they might not want their loved ones to know that they snuck off to have a Tommy's without inviting them.  Once the chili aroma enters a car, even if it is not spilled onto a seat or rug, it takes hours to clear.  There are no napkins, only paper towels. 

More recently, on a work trip to L.A. I took my whole team to Tommy's.  The experience was diminished because we had a couple of vegetarians with us, but the food was still wonderful.  I strongly suggest leaving vegetarians at home when you go to Tommy's.  There is almost nothing for them to order.  Vegetarians I've met don't have the capacity for food orgasms and wouldn't appreciate the experience.  It would be like watching other people have sex when you are disgusted with sex to start with.  The returning Tommy's patron is an omnivore at the core.  They might even go back for seconds with extra chili peppers on the side if they are ending a long abstention.  L.A. offers many opportunities for the roots and shoots crowd, but this ain't one of them.

Tommy's is the kind of place that differentiates L.A. from NYC.  Tommy's is open 24 hours a day 7 days a week.  In NYC such a place would be closed by 11 p.m. and probably wouldn't be open on Sundays.  L.A. is alive around the clock.  At 3 a.m. the Hollywood Freeway has a constant flow of traffic.  People are going places and doing things.  NYC has rolled up its sidewalks at that hour.

Tommy's is L.A.  If you go to L.A. and only see Universal Studios and the Hollywood sign you can't say that you have seen the real L.A.  A trip to Tommy's is a place to start on your path to L.A. enlightenment.